Sunday, 5 April 2015

The view from this mat

So alongside netball I've also been taking a few classes at the gym my favourites being Body Combat (lots of kicking and punching) and Body Pump (weight lifting) but I've also taken up a bit of yoga to balance things out and to have a nice stretch.  I've met a wide range of people on this new adventure, some good, some... well you decide.

Cast list in order of appearance

Captain Breathy - within the type of yoga class I attend we are encouraged to practice ujjayi (pronounced oo-jai) breathing a deep diaphragmatic breath.  You are encouraged to breath out in such a way that you can hear your breath, fine, no problem my class mates and I can do this in such a way that is not disruptive to our fellow yoga practitioners but still demonstrates the correct technique.  Then there is Captain Breathy. Captain Breathy takes things to a whole new level, he considers himself quite the pro and rushes ahead of the teachers instruction just to prove he knows which moves are coming next and his ujjayi can be heard down the street by a partially deaf person over traffic noise and the thumping, thumping techno beat of the Body Pump class taking place next door.  Not cool Captain Breathy, not cool.

Pat the Twat - Another experienced yoga practitioner, Pat is so zen he seems to forgets where he is half the time.  Pat the Twat will check his phone at regular intervals throughout the class, just to give you some context, we're in a dimly lit room meant to promote a calm and focused mind so it's always a joy when Pat the Twat activates the mega beacon that is the light on his phone.  Pat also likes to stand in the queue to check-in to class wistfully gazing around the room taking it all in, (the queue has snaked out of the door and therefore you can be stood there for some time) he then waits until he gets to the check-in desk to look for his membership card which is inevitably not in the first four pockets he searches in, what a twat.

The farter - aww poor lady, boat pose can be a devil especially if you're in a relaxed state.  You let one go, that's ok don't worry about it.  We never saw you again, it was just one trump too much for you wasn't it?

This is not very karmic 

All of this makes me appear very un-yoga, not very karmic.  I should let these moments pass by me like a leaf being carried along by a gently babbling stream... Except they're really funny and sometimes make me actually LOL, plus it makes great blog fodder.

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